Syndicate
Cat nun is a cat thats a nun and also because she's a nun she can fly because all nuns can fly, and she uses this to fight crime. One day she discovered her powers when she fell into a ditch and got her robes covered in shit. She realised that she could fight crime, but only whilst covered in shit. So, whenever crime happens, she's like 'OMG! Quick! Someone shit on me!' Her downfall was when she got addicted to crack and took up prostitution, whilst covered in shit. Also she shits all over the place. Also she's a man.
Also, more shoes:
Also, more shoes:
Click here for the discussion thread for this post.
Beegs seemed baffled as to the point of this exercise, and truth be told there isn't one, AS Art is a bit like the Joker, you just 'do things'. BEHOLD:
And two drawings I'm somewhat proud of:
And two drawings I'm somewhat proud of:
Asad says (21:35):
tprs
i love you
i LOVE you
lobe
sexy sexy sexy
youte so goh5
Asad says (21:36):
uouve bot hte moves
to tunr m,e on
a d make m hard
i have an ecrwction rigt now
and want to wank with you
SEXY
Asad says (21:37):
lojucer
helo
?
maybe you cna come here yoo!
ocme o tlodnogn
il omfe and ouckoyu uo
tprs
i love you
i LOVE you
lobe
sexy sexy sexy
youte so goh5
Asad says (21:36):
uouve bot hte moves
to tunr m,e on
a d make m hard
i have an ecrwction rigt now
and want to wank with you
SEXY
Asad says (21:37):
lojucer
helo
?
maybe you cna come here yoo!
ocme o tlodnogn
il omfe and ouckoyu uo
Granted, to understand this picture you'll have to visit hereand then click next.
Afterwards, check out Problem Sleuth. This is possibly one of the better sites i've seen on the net.
As it turns out, I have an article due in next Wednesday, which is nice to know. Would have liked to have known sooner but hey! It's on the subject of loathing Christmas, and I'm undoubtedly gonna add more to it, but here's a preview.
Please note: When you see me on MSN and I say 'Busy', that means DON'T BLOODY TALK TO ME UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT!!!
On The Twelfth Day Of Cringemas.
It's a time of magic, bonding and love for all the peoples of the western world in some guise or another, and for our cozy little island it's what occupies retailers minds for 4 months of the year. Yet I can't help but get this deep sense of foreboding about the festive season. What could possibly set such a negative reaction within me? Well, do read on.
Christmas is a time of joy, love and mass alcoholism. The three great pillars of British life today, so it would seem. Everyone has their own experiences of Christmas, and from how it gives most people I've spoken to a giddy glow in their cheeks, I'm assuming their experiences have been positive. And for the whole, so have mine. So why would I choose to take a negative stance? I suppose, personally, it's an accumulation of a multitude of negative aspects with the holiday that just make me shudder. To kick off with, the overall clichéd tackiness that the season can't help but come bundled with. We've all been there. Come the start of December every family in the country are like wound coils that shudder with anticipation, and a week later they release the kinetic energy of the holiday and begin to festoon every empty space with the glittering boas known as tinsel, that shed their shimmering skin all over the floor. Followed by dragging a plastic pine that has accumulated the dust and cobwebs of 10 months neglect in the back of a dark, dry cupboard. Finally, an array of colourful garlands festune the ceiling, and if you really want to drain the national grid, up go the garden lights, and your home is temporarily transformed into the Blackpool illuminations. Ty Pennington would be proud.
I would imagine most families would wake up the next morning to find everything still in order and carry on with their lives, however there will be a few families like me who will have suffered some form of indignity as a result of trying to brighten up the otherwise gray and withered season of winter. For those of you reading now in blissful ignorance to what I mean, allow me to fill you in. You would awake to find those garish garlands you had suspended from the ceiling the night before had during the course of the night given up on life and thrown themselves to the floor, as well as the timely intervention of a night prowler, no less your cat who will have tried to eat the tree, only to send all 6ft 3 of it toppling into your mothers prized cabinet, ripping the ornate doors off their hinges on contact with the synthetic leviathan. And just as you think things have to get better. They suddenly get worse. For instance, should you dare to step out of your house, you will undoubtedly find that inflatable Father Christmas you bolted to the roof the other day has come afoul of a stray wind and unanchored itself, as you look on in pity to see it's deflated remains strewn in a sorry heap on the road, with tire marks running across it's once bulbous belly.
Of course, I'm just talking about what is in all fairness just a run of bad luck, so lets look more to what is inevitable in the season. Lets cast our minds to September, the month where Summers end is imminent and millions pack their bags for what is sure to be another eventful academic year. The shops also kick in around this time, advertising prize present ideas, Christmas decorations, and sunny retreats to oversubscribed resorts, whilst the locals get exploited for every bit of land they have. At this point I feel compelled to remind anyone to whom this has slipped their mind, but typically, Christmas is in December. Now I was not the best at Maths, but even I can just about manage to work out there is a four month gap. Well, not so much a gap as a hernia really. I'll be honest with you, I can't truly work out why this has such a negative impact on me, but I hate how everything suddenly has to shift attention to something thats four months away and then only lasts three days. Any avid Catholic will tell you is considerably longer, but we all shamelessly did away with that years ago, and settled for pumping hard earned money into presents for family members you wouldn't even know existed if it weren't for Christmas. And yes, I hear you say 'it brings families closer'. But lets be honest with one another, it really doesn't, does it? You sit around these relatives on the day with a smile so plastered it'd be better applied fixing cracks in the bathroom ceiling, the entire act of merriment and good will is as fake as Rooney's marriage. And yes, I'm sure there are those of you who's families you love dearly, but theres always that one black horse who, if the choice was given to you, you wouldn't talk to. Christmas therefore is a time where free will is rescinded and individuality is a taboo word. Welcome to the Borg collective.
-John Lewis.
Please note: When you see me on MSN and I say 'Busy', that means DON'T BLOODY TALK TO ME UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT!!!
On The Twelfth Day Of Cringemas.
It's a time of magic, bonding and love for all the peoples of the western world in some guise or another, and for our cozy little island it's what occupies retailers minds for 4 months of the year. Yet I can't help but get this deep sense of foreboding about the festive season. What could possibly set such a negative reaction within me? Well, do read on.
Christmas is a time of joy, love and mass alcoholism. The three great pillars of British life today, so it would seem. Everyone has their own experiences of Christmas, and from how it gives most people I've spoken to a giddy glow in their cheeks, I'm assuming their experiences have been positive. And for the whole, so have mine. So why would I choose to take a negative stance? I suppose, personally, it's an accumulation of a multitude of negative aspects with the holiday that just make me shudder. To kick off with, the overall clichéd tackiness that the season can't help but come bundled with. We've all been there. Come the start of December every family in the country are like wound coils that shudder with anticipation, and a week later they release the kinetic energy of the holiday and begin to festoon every empty space with the glittering boas known as tinsel, that shed their shimmering skin all over the floor. Followed by dragging a plastic pine that has accumulated the dust and cobwebs of 10 months neglect in the back of a dark, dry cupboard. Finally, an array of colourful garlands festune the ceiling, and if you really want to drain the national grid, up go the garden lights, and your home is temporarily transformed into the Blackpool illuminations. Ty Pennington would be proud.
I would imagine most families would wake up the next morning to find everything still in order and carry on with their lives, however there will be a few families like me who will have suffered some form of indignity as a result of trying to brighten up the otherwise gray and withered season of winter. For those of you reading now in blissful ignorance to what I mean, allow me to fill you in. You would awake to find those garish garlands you had suspended from the ceiling the night before had during the course of the night given up on life and thrown themselves to the floor, as well as the timely intervention of a night prowler, no less your cat who will have tried to eat the tree, only to send all 6ft 3 of it toppling into your mothers prized cabinet, ripping the ornate doors off their hinges on contact with the synthetic leviathan. And just as you think things have to get better. They suddenly get worse. For instance, should you dare to step out of your house, you will undoubtedly find that inflatable Father Christmas you bolted to the roof the other day has come afoul of a stray wind and unanchored itself, as you look on in pity to see it's deflated remains strewn in a sorry heap on the road, with tire marks running across it's once bulbous belly.
Of course, I'm just talking about what is in all fairness just a run of bad luck, so lets look more to what is inevitable in the season. Lets cast our minds to September, the month where Summers end is imminent and millions pack their bags for what is sure to be another eventful academic year. The shops also kick in around this time, advertising prize present ideas, Christmas decorations, and sunny retreats to oversubscribed resorts, whilst the locals get exploited for every bit of land they have. At this point I feel compelled to remind anyone to whom this has slipped their mind, but typically, Christmas is in December. Now I was not the best at Maths, but even I can just about manage to work out there is a four month gap. Well, not so much a gap as a hernia really. I'll be honest with you, I can't truly work out why this has such a negative impact on me, but I hate how everything suddenly has to shift attention to something thats four months away and then only lasts three days. Any avid Catholic will tell you is considerably longer, but we all shamelessly did away with that years ago, and settled for pumping hard earned money into presents for family members you wouldn't even know existed if it weren't for Christmas. And yes, I hear you say 'it brings families closer'. But lets be honest with one another, it really doesn't, does it? You sit around these relatives on the day with a smile so plastered it'd be better applied fixing cracks in the bathroom ceiling, the entire act of merriment and good will is as fake as Rooney's marriage. And yes, I'm sure there are those of you who's families you love dearly, but theres always that one black horse who, if the choice was given to you, you wouldn't talk to. Christmas therefore is a time where free will is rescinded and individuality is a taboo word. Welcome to the Borg collective.
-John Lewis.
Quite lol.
When was the last time you really prayed about something?
Was your prayer answered?
When I was 6. I doubt it, I prayed for my Nana to come back to life...
Describe a true friend. How many friends do you have that fit that description?
Lahdan, I can rely on her for just about anything, I really trust her and (I hope) the feeling's mutual.Yeah she's the only one. I have known her for 12 years bear in mind.
Select a word that you feel describes people of your age. Explain your choice.
Headlines. We're always shooting people, apparently.
What do you believe happens after death?
Well your relatives throw a funeral, cry a bit, go to a pub for a cup of tea and go home I suppose.
What is the most difficult thing you have ever done?
Being born. That was a push.
What do you remember as the greatest day of your life?
I can't remember, I was heavily enebriated at the time.
Name something that usually angers you and say why. How do you react when angry?
Teenagers belting down a road at 105mph. I approprietly shout after them "Yeah, that ain't stolen!"
How would you deal with a good friend you knew was getting deeply involved in hard drugs?
Call the men in multicoloured coats and have a party.
If you should parent a child before marriage, how much would you be willing to give up for the child?
I would be very willing to give up everything I have. I never intend to get married or father a child. Also I'm Gay.
Tell us about a turning point in your life.
Once, when my Dad was driving me to the dentists, he turned left.
How would you deal with a friend who is getting seriously drunk several times a week?
Probably join in, scale a house and shout "I'm the chocolate cake fairy!"
What do you think people like about you the most?
My sense of humour. I don't think you can notice it much.
What about you do you think annoys people?
My Sarcasm. And Bluntness. And occasionally when I hug people. I can't win.
How do you react when you see someone being bullied?
This is a nice college for nice people. What a silly question!
When was the last time you cried and why?
... I had something in my eye... last Tuesday.
What are your personal convictions about using marijuana and other drugs?
Are my convictions going to change people smoking it?
What is your greatest fear?
Ethical Decisions
Share something that you like about your family and something that annoys you about them
They pay me. They can be nosy.
If you had to find a new, non-religious name for God what word would you use?
Dave.
Name someone of your age you admire and say why.
A very handsome lad called John
Name a celebrity of famous person from the past you admire and say why.
Heath Ledger. He made a good cowboy.
Select a word or phrase that best describes your life at this time.
Alive
Who has had the most influence on you so far? Try to say how this person affected you.
Neil Butchanan, I wouldn't be an artist without him
In school were there some people you never spoke to? Explain why not.
It was a big school!
What would you say was the greatest motivator in your life at present?
Sugar.
What would you do if you found a wallet containing £500.00?
Get Drunk.
What was your best year in school? Why/
9. It was fun.
What was your worst year in school? Why?
11. It wasn't so fun.
On what basis do you select your friends?
How Clinical... I talk to them, keep talking to them and before you know it...
Tell about an event that happened in your family or personal experience that you would call a miracle.
My Mum sowed her head to the floor. That was rather a feat.
What is your attitude towards violence?
I'm Male. I have testosterone. Bring it on.
If you were the Pope, what changes would you make in the church?
I would introduce compulsory bean bags to replace the pews.
What one thing could you do to make your home a happier place?
Paint it yellow.
Do you believe in love at first sight? What do you mean by love?
No! And liking someone quite a bit.
Do you believe that people are really good at heart? Are you?
Some of them. I have multiple personalities.
When was the last time you really prayed about something?
Was your prayer answered?
When I was 6. I doubt it, I prayed for my Nana to come back to life...
Describe a true friend. How many friends do you have that fit that description?
Lahdan, I can rely on her for just about anything, I really trust her and (I hope) the feeling's mutual.Yeah she's the only one. I have known her for 12 years bear in mind.
Select a word that you feel describes people of your age. Explain your choice.
Headlines. We're always shooting people, apparently.
What do you believe happens after death?
Well your relatives throw a funeral, cry a bit, go to a pub for a cup of tea and go home I suppose.
What is the most difficult thing you have ever done?
Being born. That was a push.
What do you remember as the greatest day of your life?
I can't remember, I was heavily enebriated at the time.
Name something that usually angers you and say why. How do you react when angry?
Teenagers belting down a road at 105mph. I approprietly shout after them "Yeah, that ain't stolen!"
How would you deal with a good friend you knew was getting deeply involved in hard drugs?
Call the men in multicoloured coats and have a party.
If you should parent a child before marriage, how much would you be willing to give up for the child?
I would be very willing to give up everything I have. I never intend to get married or father a child. Also I'm Gay.
Tell us about a turning point in your life.
Once, when my Dad was driving me to the dentists, he turned left.
How would you deal with a friend who is getting seriously drunk several times a week?
Probably join in, scale a house and shout "I'm the chocolate cake fairy!"
What do you think people like about you the most?
My sense of humour. I don't think you can notice it much.
What about you do you think annoys people?
My Sarcasm. And Bluntness. And occasionally when I hug people. I can't win.
How do you react when you see someone being bullied?
This is a nice college for nice people. What a silly question!
When was the last time you cried and why?
... I had something in my eye... last Tuesday.
What are your personal convictions about using marijuana and other drugs?
Are my convictions going to change people smoking it?
What is your greatest fear?
Ethical Decisions
Share something that you like about your family and something that annoys you about them
They pay me. They can be nosy.
If you had to find a new, non-religious name for God what word would you use?
Dave.
Name someone of your age you admire and say why.
A very handsome lad called John
Name a celebrity of famous person from the past you admire and say why.
Heath Ledger. He made a good cowboy.
Select a word or phrase that best describes your life at this time.
Alive
Who has had the most influence on you so far? Try to say how this person affected you.
Neil Butchanan, I wouldn't be an artist without him
In school were there some people you never spoke to? Explain why not.
It was a big school!
What would you say was the greatest motivator in your life at present?
Sugar.
What would you do if you found a wallet containing £500.00?
Get Drunk.
What was your best year in school? Why/
9. It was fun.
What was your worst year in school? Why?
11. It wasn't so fun.
On what basis do you select your friends?
How Clinical... I talk to them, keep talking to them and before you know it...
Tell about an event that happened in your family or personal experience that you would call a miracle.
My Mum sowed her head to the floor. That was rather a feat.
What is your attitude towards violence?
I'm Male. I have testosterone. Bring it on.
If you were the Pope, what changes would you make in the church?
I would introduce compulsory bean bags to replace the pews.
What one thing could you do to make your home a happier place?
Paint it yellow.
Do you believe in love at first sight? What do you mean by love?
No! And liking someone quite a bit.
Do you believe that people are really good at heart? Are you?
Some of them. I have multiple personalities.
(03:23) Gerard: What gay porn links?
(03:23) Gerard: Oh. Oh right.
(03:24) Gerard: ...No one is that flexible Jamie.
Time is now: 21/11/08, 09:20