Idly browsing away last night, I came across an interesting thread on Cherub. Hidden away in the stale cheese of New & Events, new member "Elena Smith" gave an interesting proposal:
QUOTE (Elena Smith)
Hello There.
This thread is about the service I'm trying to build, it's called EÞ, which can be basically translated as EY.
I need people close by, in thannet.
It's in England, but I will need correspondence in France, Germany, Spain, the US, Oceania, Japan, China, Hong Kong, India and preferably Scotland, Wales and North & SouthIrelandd.
If you do not live in thannet, but board somewhere near then you can report on interesting things that occur in you area.
To sign up you have to have:
A valid passport
A birth certificate (not to hand or anything, just know that you have one)
A mobile phone
An email address (no probs in setting one up for you)
No criminal Record (Just because)
and you have to be prepared to be clever, understanding and you have to be able to bequickk in your mind as well as your feet.
Also, you have to be young, like cherubs, but only from age 9 to age 14, and you need to be top inat leastt 1 subject atschooll.
This is a lot, but you know who you are and you know what to do, and what you do is send me an unofficial email on this:
babe_wit_brains206@hotmail.comwith your CV and a photo copy of your passport (only if you want to) and willing.
Best wishes,
Elena Smith
Lets see: Valid Passport? Check. Birth Certificate? I'd be worried if I didn't! Mobile Phone? Check. An email address? Since the 90's! No criminal record? I once smelt some cannabis, does that count? Clever? I can learn. Understanding? Sensitive is my middle name. Quick in your mind? I've watched a lot of Top Gear and my feet have an unmatched wit.
Young? I'll shave. Age 14? I'll pretend to be Sally. Top in at least one subject? My textiles project kicked everyone else's ass, that's for sure.
Send my details to the team of trustworthy staff working behind the alias "babe_wit_brains206"?
Join Mystery. Inc?
Hell yeah! There's even only five of us. Agent 1 can be Fred, Elena Smith can be Daphne, cheekymonkey1994 (
For it is she) can be Velma, illini977 can be Shaggy and I can take on the able role of Scooby himself! We can travel the world in the Mystery Machine solving murders!
Think I'm joking? Would I lie to you?
QUOTE (Daphne)
Please all reports to do with murder in this thread
QUOTE (Daphne)
A twenty-four year-old man has appeared in court charged with murdering his grandmother in Ramsgate on Christmas Day.
Maxwell Twyman, of Conyngham Close in Ramsgate, has been remanded in custody.
He will appear at Maidstone Crown Court on January the 11th.
Sixty-two year-old Valerie Twyman was found with multiple stab wounds shortly after one o'clock.
Obituary
Valerie Twyman
Rest in Peace
Sadly my report cannot include the full majesty of the size 20 sliding 'Rest in Peace', thus destroying the poignancy of this memorial to the dead, but I'll just have to live with myself. Jinkies.
But what of those philistines at Cherub? What do they have to say about this?
QUOTE (minetome)
She's right.
Sure lots of kids want to be spies but joining some organisation over the internet which they know nothing about really isn't a good idea. Especially if their parents find out or if they tell their parents. After all no parents going to want their kid to join some spy organisation that they've found over the internet. In fact i'm sure no child with brains is actually going to join unless they know you. Sorry; but I just don't see how it's going to work.
It's not a bad idea to work on though but not as a real organisation.
Nonsense! I can't see anything wrong at all with this plan to recruit children and their passports from the internet. To delete this would be the height of oppression. Nothing is more right wing than restricting children's rights to give their personal details to an internet stranger.
Don't worry though, official policy gives leniency for once:
QUOTE
NEITHER CHERUB FORUMS, ROBERT MUCHAMORE, HODDER UK OR ANY OF THEIR AFFILIATES ENDORSE THIS SCHEME, AND THEREFORE WILL ACCEPT NO LIABILITY FOR ANY INCONVINIENCE THAT MAY OCCUR AS A RESULT.
I would really advise againt posting any details to some random who you don't know.
Well, that's okay then!
QUOTE (The Loch Ness Monster)
Yes, I'll join!
You can have all of my personal details!
Including my bank sort code, pin and card number!
Lost to the World gives a clear threat! He may as well have said "I WILL STAB YOU DAPHNE! AND GET AWAY WITH IT UNLESS SOME OTHER MEDDLING KIDS AND PERHAPS A DOG TURN UP!"
Don't worry though, Daphne is on top of it:
QUOTE (Daphne)
No thank you.
I've already said what I think of people who intimidate me.
Get lost, and never come to this thread again if you are not interested, because it won't be here for long.
Anyone who misses a chance to join the gang is clearly an idiot. Let's go unmask the gardener!
QUOTE (Wolf Man)
don't see how Lost to the world... was intimidating you. Seems more like he was taking the piss.
Anyway, I'm leaving this topic here for a little while pending further advice from a gmod/admin. Technically this isn't against our ToS so long as tommy puts in the huge warning.
More threats, this time from kaphwan. Will the life of Daphne Blake never be safe?
QUOTE (Daphne)
I really could do without this -
I don't want this on here for ever, I just want more than 1 person PM-ing me.
Of course this isn't against anything that you put in your rules, I read them (That took me 2HOURS) ALL!!!
I wouldn't do anything so stupid as try to take anyones email or details or whatever your trying to accuse me of with out their most high permission.
Lost to the world was accusing me of fraud - I think that was intimidating me.
I hope he wasn't, but I bet you he laughing when he wrote that.
I hope that you leave this thread open a teeny bit longer, that would be appreciated a lot.
Elena Smith
You tell 'em Daphne!
QUOTE (Daphne)
TO ANYONE READING THIS:
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?
You should know this :
Clue: I hope you don't have it!
SYPHILLIS
But can this be real? Can I really be Scooby Doo? Let's ask Daphne:
QUOTE (Daphne)
Is who serious?
I am a GOOD GUY- well tehcnically speaking I'm a girl but I'm none the less good.
I'm pretty serious, I just think that if people work together using media to put things together, we can follow the tracks of any threads that lead out of EY piece things together to make more sense and track down "baddies".I don't want to harm anyone in the process, and I don't plan on sending people on missions etc. and I'm definitally against Basic.
Oh yeah

I'm there! But a generic noob has problems, the bastard:
QUOTE (Irrelevant)
look as fun as this would be its never going to work.
1) you\'d never find a location never to be found
2) no one\'s ever going to give their personal details to you
3) the government would never trust you
4) you would need millions to start off a buisness like this
5) you wouldnt find staff
6) you wouldnt be able to get weapons
7) in reality not enough people would join because of fear of death
i could go on...
But Daphne is on this one too!
QUOTE (Daphne)
I cannot believe what I am reading.
I do not need a private location - I live next to a very big private location that nobody dare go near - it would break, unless you happen to be a skinny 11 year old.
I don't need any weapons, if I did, I'd find I way to get them.
I have set up a website, links are on this page.
Yeah, right, We're all gonna die because we discuss news over the internet - nice one. I bet MI6 are wetting their pants because they're so worried. I think you missied something, The Government won't bother looking, and it won't be worried because we're not doing anything ilegal, they have no proof of us trying to do anything ilegal, so they can't do itterdy squit to us, remember - we discuss news, not terroism (unless it's on the news, duh) we don't plan to take action and we go straight to thames house if we get anything.
E
I am double posting, I know, and I have read the rules, but what I have to say is important and if I break it up people are more likely to read it than if I write the equivilant of War & peace, understand?
If she needs weapons, she'll find a way to get them. You go girl!
With plans like this, who wouldn't want to join? A quick read through the rules:
QUOTE (Fred)
Welcome to Spy. Service. Duty. or SSD,
This forum is here to discuss the news - local news and matters of interest.
Spammers are not allowed and I discourage anyone from spamming on this site - there are tons of less important one that you can fill to your hearts content.
The main rules are these:
Don't swear - ever.
DON'T WRITE IN CAPS!!!!! It's difficault to read.
DoN't wRITe lIKe tHiS- iT'S AnNOYINg!!!
If you are having an argument etc. don't just write things like: "yeah" and "No, you idiot" becuase it's wasting space, try adding a next question : "Yeah, but don't you think that the bananas could have been more yellow" instead of "Yeah"
dnt rte N txt spk - Don't write in text speak - cz [I am a retard] you cnt rlly no wt thy r syin, m8.
Don't cheek the people in charge - that includes me and ome others.
Don't be ignorant b**t**ds.
Agree to differ ever now and then - it won't kill you.
Have a good time but keep on the ball - remeber to PM Daphne as soon as you get anything she should know about, and anything you think people DON'T want her to know about.
Use this site.
Spammers go home, there are less important sites to spam! You are specifically exempt from Rule 15: Use this site.
URL:
http://spypp.proboards91.com/index.cgi <-- The Mystery Machine! It even has the colour scheme!
Last but not least, words of wisdom from Velma:
QUOTE (Velma)
Think of it as a real life msytery game.
Okay say someone has been murdered. From the information you have, you need to try and figure out what might have happened. Also if yoiur quite local to the incident you might have moire info then they may give on the news. So the aim of the game is to think about things in more detail and more logical. The chances you are able to solve the crim are very slim, but it might enable to be more aware of the world around you. Also it may help you in later life, depending on what you what job you get. :-/
Well, she was always the clever one.
Caveat:
QUOTE (Grego)
Or maybe we should just delete him. He seems to directly challenge our authority just for the hell of it.