Syndicate
Once upon a worms game dreary
Submitted by Josh04 on Thu, 2009-07-30 13:04.
As I pondered weak and weary
over whether or not to use
a banana bomb I found
While I shutgunned, nearly missing,
suddenly I saw what I had been missing
movement of my worms permissing,
victory from a single round
"Now succeed, My foes confound,
They have been Edgar Allen Pwned."
over whether or not to use
a banana bomb I found
While I shutgunned, nearly missing,
suddenly I saw what I had been missing
movement of my worms permissing,
victory from a single round
"Now succeed, My foes confound,
They have been Edgar Allen Pwned."
Click here for the discussion thread for this post.
Cherub's 5th Birthday Book
Submitted by Josh04 on Sat, 2009-07-11 23:27.
I know some of you guys can't get in the old senior board, so here's a link to Rob's pictures of the end result of lots and lots of effort by Stevie:
http://tinyurl.com/lzk5yg
Mine's totally first
http://tinyurl.com/lzk5yg
Mine's totally first
Why secular society should not have to accept gay marriage - and how it wastes your tax money.
Submitted by Josh04 on Thu, 2009-03-12 18:58.
So far, the pro gay side have said that gay marriage is a civil right. Huh. Marriage is a civil right, yes. But marriage is heavily regulated. Homosexuals aren't the only people who cannot marry the person of their choosing. For example, in around half of all American states, you cannot marry a first cousin. In most countries around the world, you cannot marry a close relative. In most western countries (and others) marrying more than one person is illegal. Some states and countries ban marriage where one partner has an STI. So gays aren't the only people to not be allowed to marry the person of their choosing. I'm not saying that they're equal to them, just pointing out the restrictions.
“Throughout history, even those civilizations which were more accepting of homosexual relationships did not have a gay "marriage" concept-certainly nothing approaching the equivalence of man/woman marriages in their society. The idea of gay "marriage" is entirely a modern concept.”
Of course, infertile couples can marry, and the pro gay side love to point this out constantly. So, how do they suggest we find out who is infertile and who is not? Asking? Most people who are infertile do not actually know it, plus fertility tests are too expensive (plus the manpower to distribute them, petrol etc) to mandate. Also, infertility may be spontaneously resolved, may appear later in life, or could be cured. It is not necessarily permanent. So infertility in all but the most obvious cases, such as with blood relatives, is left alone.
And elderly couples? Men remain fertile even in old age. What would be the “cut-off” age? Randomly choosing a number fails. Women experience the menopause at different times in life, while one woman may go through it at fifty, another may have it at forty five or sixty. There is no definitive number. Plus elderly women can still conceive with medical help - the oldest woman to give birth was in her eighties, if I recall correctly. So outlawing elderly couples marrying (rare as it is - it wouldn't be worth the outrage) would result in fertile men unable to find a wife to marry. Fail. Plus couples marrying after the age of say, seventy, is extremely rare. The pro gay side, now clutching at straws, will state that couples intending on not having children are still able to marry. The argument is getting more and more ridiculous. Do we have mind reading technology? No? Then how the heck are we supposed to know? Ask? Their opinions may change either way during the marriage!
So, marriage laws ensure, though imperfectly, that the vast majority of couples who get the benefits of marriage are the ones who will bear children.
Cool. And so, to state just some of the benefits that a married couple will receive, tax wise:
A blanket exemption from inheritance tax.
No capital gains tax on transfers of chargeable assets.
Properties in joint names
Using unused tax allowances.
And of course, hospital visitation rights, receiving property after the death of one member in the marriage, etc.
These are just some of the numerous benefits that married couples receive, all of which are costly to the state and other individuals. This is where the pro-gay side like to say that gay marriage only affects the individuals involved. Wrong. It has implications on every citizen, not least because of these costly benefits outlined above. So why do married couples get these anyway? Marriage, remember, is not a secular institution - it's the secular acknowledgment of a religious institution. So why would secular society feel the need to acknowledge marriage at all?
Because, traditionally, families were one husband - he worked and brought in the money for the household. The wife stayed at home and looked after the children. As nearly all financial benefits were tied to employment (no dole in those days, at least not to the extent that we have now) which meant that primarily, they were tied to the husband in effect - then how to protect the wife and children? Simple. Give them the rights that we have now, the majority of which were created for this purpose, so that they wouldn't be automatically screwed in the event of the death of the husband, as that would result in the financial benefits going with him. And that was the traditional definition of the family. Not going into a discussion as to whether it was right, wrong, sexist, or whatever. But that was how it was, and in nearly every society on the planet, that was how it was and still is. The fact is that children are a compelling state interest, and raising them within the traditional family model insures that they will become productive members of society.
Roll on the 21st century. Now the pro-gay side just love to point out that, “Oh, but that definition doesn't apply as much as it used to, so you should accept us non-traditional marriages,” They're right. It doesn't apply as much as it used to, but it still does apply. And they're wrong. They cannot have it both ways by saying “Since the definition doesn't apply, you should accept us,” and then doing a 180 and demanding that they need those rights which were created for people entirely dependant on the traditional family model/unit in the first place! Anyone can see that that automatically fails. Quite frankly, there is a stronger argument for the cutting back of the benefits of marriage altogether than there is for gay marriage.
So if gays are not going to fit the definition of this, then what is the point of gay marriage?
So as you can see here, the only benefits of marriage which gays are restricted from are the ones that are costly to both the state and society.
If we accept that heterosexual marriage serves a purpose, and that purpose is to create children, hence why they receive the benefits, then what is the purpose that gay couples serve that heterosexual couples don't that makes them eligible for marriage? And here is where the pro-gay side fails miserably. They cannot answer that question. I'll repeat it: Homosexual marriage do not serve the state interest of creating more citizens, so what societal purpose is it that homosexuals serve that makes them eligible for this?
The pro gay side will shout, “Adoption!” They'd like you to think that the gays will rescue every single child from the states care. Well. Adoption statistics for England:
OK. Of all the children in care in 2008, 12% (7,070) were in care. Now, let's use the oft-quoted by the pro-gay side's statistic of 10% of the population as homosexual/lesbian. For Britain, this is 6,100,000 people. Pair them up (rough estimate, but you will see the point) 3,050,000 people. 7,070 children to adopt. If they were all adopted, the vast, vast majority of gays would not get a look-in childwise. Not worth legalising it soley on that basis. Plus civil partnerships have been legal in Britain since 2005. Have we seen a massive reduction in children in care? NO. Once again, the pro gay side fail. Remove the 3,200 children that were adopted by straight couples and it fails even more! Not enough same-sex couples have a family arrangement that fits the pattern for societal protection according to the traditional justification.
Sources: http://www.baaf.org.uk/info/stats/england.shtml
So essentially, the answer is - Gay couples do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason to grant them the costly benefits of marriage, unless there is another state interest that they serve that heterosexuals do not. And on that note, it is on the burden of the pro-gay side to come up with. Which so far, they have failed to do. They've shouted for ages over why they want it - but not a single word on what it can do for society as a whole.
“Throughout history, even those civilizations which were more accepting of homosexual relationships did not have a gay "marriage" concept-certainly nothing approaching the equivalence of man/woman marriages in their society. The idea of gay "marriage" is entirely a modern concept.”
Of course, infertile couples can marry, and the pro gay side love to point this out constantly. So, how do they suggest we find out who is infertile and who is not? Asking? Most people who are infertile do not actually know it, plus fertility tests are too expensive (plus the manpower to distribute them, petrol etc) to mandate. Also, infertility may be spontaneously resolved, may appear later in life, or could be cured. It is not necessarily permanent. So infertility in all but the most obvious cases, such as with blood relatives, is left alone.
And elderly couples? Men remain fertile even in old age. What would be the “cut-off” age? Randomly choosing a number fails. Women experience the menopause at different times in life, while one woman may go through it at fifty, another may have it at forty five or sixty. There is no definitive number. Plus elderly women can still conceive with medical help - the oldest woman to give birth was in her eighties, if I recall correctly. So outlawing elderly couples marrying (rare as it is - it wouldn't be worth the outrage) would result in fertile men unable to find a wife to marry. Fail. Plus couples marrying after the age of say, seventy, is extremely rare. The pro gay side, now clutching at straws, will state that couples intending on not having children are still able to marry. The argument is getting more and more ridiculous. Do we have mind reading technology? No? Then how the heck are we supposed to know? Ask? Their opinions may change either way during the marriage!
So, marriage laws ensure, though imperfectly, that the vast majority of couples who get the benefits of marriage are the ones who will bear children.
Cool. And so, to state just some of the benefits that a married couple will receive, tax wise:
A blanket exemption from inheritance tax.
No capital gains tax on transfers of chargeable assets.
Properties in joint names
Using unused tax allowances.
And of course, hospital visitation rights, receiving property after the death of one member in the marriage, etc.
These are just some of the numerous benefits that married couples receive, all of which are costly to the state and other individuals. This is where the pro-gay side like to say that gay marriage only affects the individuals involved. Wrong. It has implications on every citizen, not least because of these costly benefits outlined above. So why do married couples get these anyway? Marriage, remember, is not a secular institution - it's the secular acknowledgment of a religious institution. So why would secular society feel the need to acknowledge marriage at all?
Because, traditionally, families were one husband - he worked and brought in the money for the household. The wife stayed at home and looked after the children. As nearly all financial benefits were tied to employment (no dole in those days, at least not to the extent that we have now) which meant that primarily, they were tied to the husband in effect - then how to protect the wife and children? Simple. Give them the rights that we have now, the majority of which were created for this purpose, so that they wouldn't be automatically screwed in the event of the death of the husband, as that would result in the financial benefits going with him. And that was the traditional definition of the family. Not going into a discussion as to whether it was right, wrong, sexist, or whatever. But that was how it was, and in nearly every society on the planet, that was how it was and still is. The fact is that children are a compelling state interest, and raising them within the traditional family model insures that they will become productive members of society.
Roll on the 21st century. Now the pro-gay side just love to point out that, “Oh, but that definition doesn't apply as much as it used to, so you should accept us non-traditional marriages,” They're right. It doesn't apply as much as it used to, but it still does apply. And they're wrong. They cannot have it both ways by saying “Since the definition doesn't apply, you should accept us,” and then doing a 180 and demanding that they need those rights which were created for people entirely dependant on the traditional family model/unit in the first place! Anyone can see that that automatically fails. Quite frankly, there is a stronger argument for the cutting back of the benefits of marriage altogether than there is for gay marriage.
So if gays are not going to fit the definition of this, then what is the point of gay marriage?
So as you can see here, the only benefits of marriage which gays are restricted from are the ones that are costly to both the state and society.
If we accept that heterosexual marriage serves a purpose, and that purpose is to create children, hence why they receive the benefits, then what is the purpose that gay couples serve that heterosexual couples don't that makes them eligible for marriage? And here is where the pro-gay side fails miserably. They cannot answer that question. I'll repeat it: Homosexual marriage do not serve the state interest of creating more citizens, so what societal purpose is it that homosexuals serve that makes them eligible for this?
The pro gay side will shout, “Adoption!” They'd like you to think that the gays will rescue every single child from the states care. Well. Adoption statistics for England:
OK. Of all the children in care in 2008, 12% (7,070) were in care. Now, let's use the oft-quoted by the pro-gay side's statistic of 10% of the population as homosexual/lesbian. For Britain, this is 6,100,000 people. Pair them up (rough estimate, but you will see the point) 3,050,000 people. 7,070 children to adopt. If they were all adopted, the vast, vast majority of gays would not get a look-in childwise. Not worth legalising it soley on that basis. Plus civil partnerships have been legal in Britain since 2005. Have we seen a massive reduction in children in care? NO. Once again, the pro gay side fail. Remove the 3,200 children that were adopted by straight couples and it fails even more! Not enough same-sex couples have a family arrangement that fits the pattern for societal protection according to the traditional justification.
Sources: http://www.baaf.org.uk/info/stats/england.shtml
So essentially, the answer is - Gay couples do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason to grant them the costly benefits of marriage, unless there is another state interest that they serve that heterosexuals do not. And on that note, it is on the burden of the pro-gay side to come up with. Which so far, they have failed to do. They've shouted for ages over why they want it - but not a single word on what it can do for society as a whole.
Josh's Smurf Blog
Submitted by Josh04 on Mon, 2008-09-01 02:27.
(03:23) Gerard: What gay porn links?
(03:23) Gerard: Oh. Oh right.
(03:24) Gerard: ...No one is that flexible Jamie.
Josh's Nietzsche Blog
Submitted by Josh04 on Fri, 2008-06-20 22:50.
Josh's Neverwinter Nights Blog
Submitted by Josh04 on Mon, 2008-05-19 00:48.
QUOTE (The Commander)
Goodness! The good farmer's daughter has been taken by some hideous troll into his mountain lair, whence she will be forced to wed him! I must stop this injustice most grave at once! Dear farmer, have no worries; I will save your daughter post-haste, as any good man must feel compelled to!
QUOTE (Drew)
Your daughter has been kidnapped? Hmm. Rich, are you? Some money in the bank? If there's a reward, I'll do it. A large award. With half now, half when she's returned? I think we have a deal. Now excuse me, I need to head into your house and empty all your valuables into this sack. And all your neighbours valuables. And anything which isn't bolted down.
QUOTE (Utahraptor)
The farmer's daughter is in trouble? The farmer's daughter was in trouble. Now she's dead. And so's the farmer. And his wife. And their oxen. And the rest of the population of the town and their respective oxen too. Now, i think I'll go kill something.
QUOTE (Wangmaster Jolena)
Hmm. A farmer's daughter is in trouble eh? I'll agree to help (after extorting as much money as possible). I wonder if I'll get the opportunity to betray him? That'd be pretty cool. Otherwise, I'll do the job, take the reward and on my return slaughter the whole farmstead. I am so damn cool.
--------------------------------
QUOTE (The Commander)
This gemstone must have been stolen, or less it must possess the soul of some tormented being. I shall return it to the temple immediately - the wise priests will know what is best for it.
QUOTE (Drew)
Another gemstone? I hope it's worth something.
QUOTE (Utahraptor)
There was a gemstone? Must have been on one of the corpses.
QUOTE (Wangmaster Jolena)
A gemstone eh! Maybe it has an original owner - who I can betray! And then I can betray the people I betrayed them to, and kill them all!
--------------------------------
QUOTE (The Commander)
Fear not, kind sir! I shall release you from this gaol of iron, and you shall be again free from injustice! The Gnolls are truly barbaric to have imprisoned you like this. I can only hope I can stop them before they can cause another to suffer!
QUOTE (Drew)
Are there any gold pieces under than pile of bones in the corner? Like, one or two? And maybe a small gemstone?
QUOTE (Utahraptor)
Prisoners are so easy to kill.
QUOTE (Wangmaster Jolena)
I'll free you... as long as you swear eternal servitude to me. If you try to make a run for it, I'll chase you down and I will make you suffer. That or you'll be stupid enough to step on a spike trap and leave me standing over you as everyone else arrives. That would be so like you, denying me the pleasure of killing you myself.
Baldur's Gate Exploits
Submitted by Josh04 on Wed, 2008-03-26 14:07.
Me, Toes, Beegs and Drew have been playing Baldur's Gate 2 for the past few weeks, with a ridiculous level of success. Since we've all been on Vent at the same time, much hilarity has ensued, including an incident today in which we pitted the characters against one another in a Battle Royale style deathmatch. It came down to Geraint, who was incapable of attacking the invisible Beegs, killing commoners to attract a City Guard hitsquad who handily took out Beegs.
Other notable incidents include the saga of Beeg's thieving skills being not quite up to scratch:
Toes' constant attempts at substance abuse, usually foiled by Geraint and his potion-quaffing abilities:
Our general anti-social behaviour towards trolls:
The lack of honour amongst thieves:
Drew's inability to let go:
Toes' racial profiling of the bad guys. Upon seeing enemies called "Maharajahs":
My ability to mislead the party as to my misdeeds:
Beeg's disproportionately proportioned character:
The constant repetition of the following phrase wherever my character and his oversized globe of spell deflection went:
Having to explain to Toes the function of various abilities:
Timmy being roughly equatable to Kenny from South Park, including one incident where we fought of a party of doppelgängers:
The dubious nature of some of the Villains:
Drew's general inability to comprehend:
An incident where an especially hard villain irreversibly killed our players one by one, before managing to crash the game itself:
And last but not least, discovering that Toes' characters had no free inventory space because he'd been collecting every single backstory book found:
Other notable incidents include the saga of Beeg's thieving skills being not quite up to scratch:
QUOTE (Beegs)
"Why would a door in the Bridge district have a Flesh-To-Stone trap on it?
QUOTE (Josh)
Beegs, I have a constant sneaking suspicion that you might not really be all that good as a theif.
QUOTE (Beegs)
I'm a good thief, I just wasn't expecting the door to be booby trapped!
QUOTE (Toes)
You might be a level twenty thief, but you're a level one FRIEND."
Toes' constant attempts at substance abuse, usually foiled by Geraint and his potion-quaffing abilities:
QUOTE (Josh)
Look, its your fault I killed everyone Beegs, because if you give Toes any potions, you should know I'm going to steal them, drink them and kill everyone.
Our general anti-social behaviour towards trolls:
QUOTE (Toes)
Are you kicking a troll while he's down?
Someone set him on fire, my legs are getting tired!
Someone set him on fire, my legs are getting tired!
The lack of honour amongst thieves:
QUOTE (Beegs)
Help! Geraint's attacking me! Roger the fence! SAVE M- oh damn.
QUOTE (Beegs)
I thought Roger The Fence would help me fight Geraint. Obviously I was wrong.
QUOTE (Toes)
Roger the Fence cackles: One more step up the thieving ladder!
Drew's inability to let go:
QUOTE (Drew)
You can't sell that! It has a chance of killing undead in one hit!
Toes' racial profiling of the bad guys. Upon seeing enemies called "Maharajahs":
QUOTE (Toes)
These villains are obviously meant to be Indians.
QUOTE (Toes)
Kangaxx? Isn't he a Pokemon?
My ability to mislead the party as to my misdeeds:
QUOTE (Josh)
Guys, I have a confession to make: Toes didn't actually spend 50000 gold on potions. I may have bought the armour of Balduran with all our remaining cash...
QUOTE (Toes)
Josh! You're an addict! You're the fantasy equivalent of the out of control drug addict snorting cocaine off a hooker's back, except you're drinking regeneration potions in your extravagantly expensive armour!
Beeg's disproportionately proportioned character:
QUOTE (Josh)
How is James such a ridiculously higher level than everyone else?
QUOTE (Beegs)
I... erm... only have 1000... 10000... 100000 more than Toes... I'll be quiet.
The constant repetition of the following phrase wherever my character and his oversized globe of spell deflection went:
QUOTE (Everyone)
Josh, your football of selfishness is in the way!
Having to explain to Toes the function of various abilities:
QUOTE (Josh)
That's called Quivering Palm. It has a chance of killing an enemy in a single blow.
QUOTE (Toes)
You mean... he has Parkinsons!
Timmy being roughly equatable to Kenny from South Park, including one incident where we fought of a party of doppelgängers:
QUOTE (Josh)
Guys, I might have killed the wrong Timmy.
The dubious nature of some of the Villains:
QUOTE (Beegs)
Vampiric mists? How do you get them?
QUOTE (Toes)
A low pressure western front mixing with an easterly wind of EVIL.
Drew's general inability to comprehend:
QUOTE (Drew)
Are vampires undead?
QUOTE (Toes)
Yes, but they're not part of the undead union.
An incident where an especially hard villain irreversibly killed our players one by one, before managing to crash the game itself:
QUOTE (Toes)
Kangaxx is the very apotheosis of evil, he's more than a character. He transcends the game code and is actually trying to BREAK INTO OUR REALITY. Every time we fight him we're risking our own mortality.
And last but not least, discovering that Toes' characters had no free inventory space because he'd been collecting every single backstory book found:
QUOTE (Toes)
I'm a walking library!
Josh's Bread Blog
Submitted by Josh04 on Sat, 2008-01-19 20:13.
A Quote from Cherub
Submitted by Josh04 on Tue, 2008-01-08 17:31.
QUOTE (Bohemian Rhapsody)
This is awesome.
I got a call from Myra this morning; someone had told her about this thread. I chatted with her for a while and she told me I could give you the basic information (apparently I'm not supposed to give you my ident and area (my bad)).
Basically SPP stands for Social [school] Pervert Party [time]
All we do is "monitor" the the playground during breaks and out of school hours (we are advised against this).
We have one to two "members" for every three schools in England and Wales (not the UK.
)
If opportunity arises (kids out alone etc.), we don't "rape immediately", but signal to the group to move in. If it is something small like 8 or 9, we can sort it ourselves.
In my school alone, my colleague and I have reduced virginity by 80% (there isn't much of that in my school
).
Questions are available, but for privacy reasons, there is a limit to how far I go.
I got a call from Myra this morning; someone had told her about this thread. I chatted with her for a while and she told me I could give you the basic information (apparently I'm not supposed to give you my ident and area (my bad)).
Basically SPP stands for Social [school] Pervert Party [time]
All we do is "monitor" the the playground during breaks and out of school hours (we are advised against this).
We have one to two "members" for every three schools in England and Wales (not the UK.
)If opportunity arises (kids out alone etc.), we don't "rape immediately", but signal to the group to move in. If it is something small like 8 or 9, we can sort it ourselves.
In my school alone, my colleague and I have reduced virginity by 80% (there isn't much of that in my school
).Questions are available, but for privacy reasons, there is a limit to how far I go.
See here.
Josh's Scooby Doo Blog
Submitted by Josh04 on Wed, 2008-01-02 17:48.
Idly browsing away last night, I came across an interesting thread on Cherub. Hidden away in the stale cheese of New & Events, new member "Elena Smith" gave an interesting proposal:
Lets see: Valid Passport? Check. Birth Certificate? I'd be worried if I didn't! Mobile Phone? Check. An email address? Since the 90's! No criminal record? I once smelt some cannabis, does that count? Clever? I can learn. Understanding? Sensitive is my middle name. Quick in your mind? I've watched a lot of Top Gear and my feet have an unmatched wit.
Young? I'll shave. Age 14? I'll pretend to be Sally. Top in at least one subject? My textiles project kicked everyone else's ass, that's for sure.
Send my details to the team of trustworthy staff working behind the alias "babe_wit_brains206"?
Join Mystery. Inc?
Hell yeah! There's even only five of us. Agent 1 can be Fred, Elena Smith can be Daphne, cheekymonkey1994 (For it is she) can be Velma, illini977 can be Shaggy and I can take on the able role of Scooby himself! We can travel the world in the Mystery Machine solving murders!
Think I'm joking? Would I lie to you?
Sadly my report cannot include the full majesty of the size 20 sliding 'Rest in Peace', thus destroying the poignancy of this memorial to the dead, but I'll just have to live with myself. Jinkies.
But what of those philistines at Cherub? What do they have to say about this?
Nonsense! I can't see anything wrong at all with this plan to recruit children and their passports from the internet. To delete this would be the height of oppression. Nothing is more right wing than restricting children's rights to give their personal details to an internet stranger.
Don't worry though, official policy gives leniency for once:
Well, that's okay then!
Lost to the World gives a clear threat! He may as well have said "I WILL STAB YOU DAPHNE! AND GET AWAY WITH IT UNLESS SOME OTHER MEDDLING KIDS AND PERHAPS A DOG TURN UP!"
Don't worry though, Daphne is on top of it:
Anyone who misses a chance to join the gang is clearly an idiot. Let's go unmask the gardener!
More threats, this time from kaphwan. Will the life of Daphne Blake never be safe?
You tell 'em Daphne!
SYPHILLIS
But can this be real? Can I really be Scooby Doo? Let's ask Daphne:
Oh yeah I'm there! But a generic noob has problems, the bastard:
But Daphne is on this one too!
If she needs weapons, she'll find a way to get them. You go girl!
With plans like this, who wouldn't want to join? A quick read through the rules:
Spammers go home, there are less important sites to spam! You are specifically exempt from Rule 15: Use this site.
URL: http://spypp.proboards91.com/index.cgi <-- The Mystery Machine! It even has the colour scheme!
Last but not least, words of wisdom from Velma:
Well, she was always the clever one.
Caveat:
QUOTE (Elena Smith)
Hello There.
This thread is about the service I'm trying to build, it's called EÞ, which can be basically translated as EY.
I need people close by, in thannet.
It's in England, but I will need correspondence in France, Germany, Spain, the US, Oceania, Japan, China, Hong Kong, India and preferably Scotland, Wales and North & SouthIrelandd.
If you do not live in thannet, but board somewhere near then you can report on interesting things that occur in you area.
To sign up you have to have:
A valid passport
A birth certificate (not to hand or anything, just know that you have one)
A mobile phone
An email address (no probs in setting one up for you)
No criminal Record (Just because)
and you have to be prepared to be clever, understanding and you have to be able to bequickk in your mind as well as your feet.
Also, you have to be young, like cherubs, but only from age 9 to age 14, and you need to be top inat leastt 1 subject atschooll.
This is a lot, but you know who you are and you know what to do, and what you do is send me an unofficial email on this:
babe_wit_brains206@hotmail.com
with your CV and a photo copy of your passport (only if you want to) and willing.
Best wishes,
Elena Smith
This thread is about the service I'm trying to build, it's called EÞ, which can be basically translated as EY.
I need people close by, in thannet.
It's in England, but I will need correspondence in France, Germany, Spain, the US, Oceania, Japan, China, Hong Kong, India and preferably Scotland, Wales and North & SouthIrelandd.
If you do not live in thannet, but board somewhere near then you can report on interesting things that occur in you area.
To sign up you have to have:
A valid passport
A birth certificate (not to hand or anything, just know that you have one)
A mobile phone
An email address (no probs in setting one up for you)
No criminal Record (Just because)
and you have to be prepared to be clever, understanding and you have to be able to bequickk in your mind as well as your feet.
Also, you have to be young, like cherubs, but only from age 9 to age 14, and you need to be top inat leastt 1 subject atschooll.
This is a lot, but you know who you are and you know what to do, and what you do is send me an unofficial email on this:
babe_wit_brains206@hotmail.com
with your CV and a photo copy of your passport (only if you want to) and willing.
Best wishes,
Elena Smith
Lets see: Valid Passport? Check. Birth Certificate? I'd be worried if I didn't! Mobile Phone? Check. An email address? Since the 90's! No criminal record? I once smelt some cannabis, does that count? Clever? I can learn. Understanding? Sensitive is my middle name. Quick in your mind? I've watched a lot of Top Gear and my feet have an unmatched wit.
Young? I'll shave. Age 14? I'll pretend to be Sally. Top in at least one subject? My textiles project kicked everyone else's ass, that's for sure.
Send my details to the team of trustworthy staff working behind the alias "babe_wit_brains206"?
Join Mystery. Inc?
Hell yeah! There's even only five of us. Agent 1 can be Fred, Elena Smith can be Daphne, cheekymonkey1994 (For it is she) can be Velma, illini977 can be Shaggy and I can take on the able role of Scooby himself! We can travel the world in the Mystery Machine solving murders!
Think I'm joking? Would I lie to you?
QUOTE (Daphne)
Please all reports to do with murder in this thread
QUOTE (Daphne)
A twenty-four year-old man has appeared in court charged with murdering his grandmother in Ramsgate on Christmas Day.
Maxwell Twyman, of Conyngham Close in Ramsgate, has been remanded in custody.
He will appear at Maidstone Crown Court on January the 11th.
Sixty-two year-old Valerie Twyman was found with multiple stab wounds shortly after one o'clock.
Obituary
Valerie Twyman
Rest in Peace
Maxwell Twyman, of Conyngham Close in Ramsgate, has been remanded in custody.
He will appear at Maidstone Crown Court on January the 11th.
Sixty-two year-old Valerie Twyman was found with multiple stab wounds shortly after one o'clock.
Obituary
Valerie Twyman
Rest in Peace
Sadly my report cannot include the full majesty of the size 20 sliding 'Rest in Peace', thus destroying the poignancy of this memorial to the dead, but I'll just have to live with myself. Jinkies.
But what of those philistines at Cherub? What do they have to say about this?
QUOTE (minetome)
She's right.
Sure lots of kids want to be spies but joining some organisation over the internet which they know nothing about really isn't a good idea. Especially if their parents find out or if they tell their parents. After all no parents going to want their kid to join some spy organisation that they've found over the internet. In fact i'm sure no child with brains is actually going to join unless they know you. Sorry; but I just don't see how it's going to work.
It's not a bad idea to work on though but not as a real organisation.
Sure lots of kids want to be spies but joining some organisation over the internet which they know nothing about really isn't a good idea. Especially if their parents find out or if they tell their parents. After all no parents going to want their kid to join some spy organisation that they've found over the internet. In fact i'm sure no child with brains is actually going to join unless they know you. Sorry; but I just don't see how it's going to work.
It's not a bad idea to work on though but not as a real organisation.
Nonsense! I can't see anything wrong at all with this plan to recruit children and their passports from the internet. To delete this would be the height of oppression. Nothing is more right wing than restricting children's rights to give their personal details to an internet stranger.
Don't worry though, official policy gives leniency for once:
QUOTE
NEITHER CHERUB FORUMS, ROBERT MUCHAMORE, HODDER UK OR ANY OF THEIR AFFILIATES ENDORSE THIS SCHEME, AND THEREFORE WILL ACCEPT NO LIABILITY FOR ANY INCONVINIENCE THAT MAY OCCUR AS A RESULT.
I would really advise againt posting any details to some random who you don't know.
I would really advise againt posting any details to some random who you don't know.
Well, that's okay then!
QUOTE (The Loch Ness Monster)
Yes, I'll join!
You can have all of my personal details!
Including my bank sort code, pin and card number!
You can have all of my personal details!
Including my bank sort code, pin and card number!
Lost to the World gives a clear threat! He may as well have said "I WILL STAB YOU DAPHNE! AND GET AWAY WITH IT UNLESS SOME OTHER MEDDLING KIDS AND PERHAPS A DOG TURN UP!"
Don't worry though, Daphne is on top of it:
QUOTE (Daphne)
No thank you.
I've already said what I think of people who intimidate me.
Get lost, and never come to this thread again if you are not interested, because it won't be here for long.
I've already said what I think of people who intimidate me.
Get lost, and never come to this thread again if you are not interested, because it won't be here for long.
Anyone who misses a chance to join the gang is clearly an idiot. Let's go unmask the gardener!
QUOTE (Wolf Man)
don't see how Lost to the world... was intimidating you. Seems more like he was taking the piss.
Anyway, I'm leaving this topic here for a little while pending further advice from a gmod/admin. Technically this isn't against our ToS so long as tommy puts in the huge warning.
Anyway, I'm leaving this topic here for a little while pending further advice from a gmod/admin. Technically this isn't against our ToS so long as tommy puts in the huge warning.
More threats, this time from kaphwan. Will the life of Daphne Blake never be safe?
QUOTE (Daphne)
I really could do without this -
I don't want this on here for ever, I just want more than 1 person PM-ing me.
Of course this isn't against anything that you put in your rules, I read them (That took me 2HOURS) ALL!!!
I wouldn't do anything so stupid as try to take anyones email or details or whatever your trying to accuse me of with out their most high permission.
Lost to the world was accusing me of fraud - I think that was intimidating me.
I hope he wasn't, but I bet you he laughing when he wrote that.
I hope that you leave this thread open a teeny bit longer, that would be appreciated a lot.
Elena Smith
I don't want this on here for ever, I just want more than 1 person PM-ing me.
Of course this isn't against anything that you put in your rules, I read them (That took me 2HOURS) ALL!!!
I wouldn't do anything so stupid as try to take anyones email or details or whatever your trying to accuse me of with out their most high permission.
Lost to the world was accusing me of fraud - I think that was intimidating me.
I hope he wasn't, but I bet you he laughing when he wrote that.
I hope that you leave this thread open a teeny bit longer, that would be appreciated a lot.
Elena Smith
You tell 'em Daphne!
QUOTE (Daphne)
TO ANYONE READING THIS:
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?
You should know this :
Clue: I hope you don't have it!
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?
You should know this :
Clue: I hope you don't have it!
SYPHILLIS
But can this be real? Can I really be Scooby Doo? Let's ask Daphne:
QUOTE (Daphne)
Is who serious?
I am a GOOD GUY- well tehcnically speaking I'm a girl but I'm none the less good.
I'm pretty serious, I just think that if people work together using media to put things together, we can follow the tracks of any threads that lead out of EY piece things together to make more sense and track down "baddies".I don't want to harm anyone in the process, and I don't plan on sending people on missions etc. and I'm definitally against Basic.
I am a GOOD GUY- well tehcnically speaking I'm a girl but I'm none the less good.
I'm pretty serious, I just think that if people work together using media to put things together, we can follow the tracks of any threads that lead out of EY piece things together to make more sense and track down "baddies".I don't want to harm anyone in the process, and I don't plan on sending people on missions etc. and I'm definitally against Basic.
Oh yeah
I'm there! But a generic noob has problems, the bastard:QUOTE (Irrelevant)
look as fun as this would be its never going to work.
1) you\'d never find a location never to be found
2) no one\'s ever going to give their personal details to you
3) the government would never trust you
4) you would need millions to start off a buisness like this
5) you wouldnt find staff
6) you wouldnt be able to get weapons
7) in reality not enough people would join because of fear of death
i could go on...
1) you\'d never find a location never to be found
2) no one\'s ever going to give their personal details to you
3) the government would never trust you
4) you would need millions to start off a buisness like this
5) you wouldnt find staff
6) you wouldnt be able to get weapons
7) in reality not enough people would join because of fear of death
i could go on...
But Daphne is on this one too!
QUOTE (Daphne)
I cannot believe what I am reading.
I do not need a private location - I live next to a very big private location that nobody dare go near - it would break, unless you happen to be a skinny 11 year old.
I don't need any weapons, if I did, I'd find I way to get them.
I have set up a website, links are on this page.
Yeah, right, We're all gonna die because we discuss news over the internet - nice one. I bet MI6 are wetting their pants because they're so worried. I think you missied something, The Government won't bother looking, and it won't be worried because we're not doing anything ilegal, they have no proof of us trying to do anything ilegal, so they can't do itterdy squit to us, remember - we discuss news, not terroism (unless it's on the news, duh) we don't plan to take action and we go straight to thames house if we get anything.
E
I am double posting, I know, and I have read the rules, but what I have to say is important and if I break it up people are more likely to read it than if I write the equivilant of War & peace, understand?
I do not need a private location - I live next to a very big private location that nobody dare go near - it would break, unless you happen to be a skinny 11 year old.
I don't need any weapons, if I did, I'd find I way to get them.
I have set up a website, links are on this page.
Yeah, right, We're all gonna die because we discuss news over the internet - nice one. I bet MI6 are wetting their pants because they're so worried. I think you missied something, The Government won't bother looking, and it won't be worried because we're not doing anything ilegal, they have no proof of us trying to do anything ilegal, so they can't do itterdy squit to us, remember - we discuss news, not terroism (unless it's on the news, duh) we don't plan to take action and we go straight to thames house if we get anything.
E
I am double posting, I know, and I have read the rules, but what I have to say is important and if I break it up people are more likely to read it than if I write the equivilant of War & peace, understand?
If she needs weapons, she'll find a way to get them. You go girl!
With plans like this, who wouldn't want to join? A quick read through the rules:
QUOTE (Fred)
Welcome to Spy. Service. Duty. or SSD,
This forum is here to discuss the news - local news and matters of interest.
Spammers are not allowed and I discourage anyone from spamming on this site - there are tons of less important one that you can fill to your hearts content.
The main rules are these:
Don't swear - ever.
DON'T WRITE IN CAPS!!!!! It's difficault to read.
DoN't wRITe lIKe tHiS- iT'S AnNOYINg!!!
If you are having an argument etc. don't just write things like: "yeah" and "No, you idiot" becuase it's wasting space, try adding a next question : "Yeah, but don't you think that the bananas could have been more yellow" instead of "Yeah"
dnt rte N txt spk - Don't write in text speak - cz [I am a retard] you cnt rlly no wt thy r syin, m8.
Don't cheek the people in charge - that includes me and ome others.
Don't be ignorant b**t**ds.
Agree to differ ever now and then - it won't kill you.
Have a good time but keep on the ball - remeber to PM Daphne as soon as you get anything she should know about, and anything you think people DON'T want her to know about.
Use this site.
This forum is here to discuss the news - local news and matters of interest.
Spammers are not allowed and I discourage anyone from spamming on this site - there are tons of less important one that you can fill to your hearts content.
The main rules are these:
Don't swear - ever.
DON'T WRITE IN CAPS!!!!! It's difficault to read.
DoN't wRITe lIKe tHiS- iT'S AnNOYINg!!!
If you are having an argument etc. don't just write things like: "yeah" and "No, you idiot" becuase it's wasting space, try adding a next question : "Yeah, but don't you think that the bananas could have been more yellow" instead of "Yeah"
dnt rte N txt spk - Don't write in text speak - cz [I am a retard] you cnt rlly no wt thy r syin, m8.
Don't cheek the people in charge - that includes me and ome others.
Don't be ignorant b**t**ds.
Agree to differ ever now and then - it won't kill you.
Have a good time but keep on the ball - remeber to PM Daphne as soon as you get anything she should know about, and anything you think people DON'T want her to know about.
Use this site.
Spammers go home, there are less important sites to spam! You are specifically exempt from Rule 15: Use this site.
URL: http://spypp.proboards91.com/index.cgi <-- The Mystery Machine! It even has the colour scheme!
Last but not least, words of wisdom from Velma:
QUOTE (Velma)
Think of it as a real life msytery game.
Okay say someone has been murdered. From the information you have, you need to try and figure out what might have happened. Also if yoiur quite local to the incident you might have moire info then they may give on the news. So the aim of the game is to think about things in more detail and more logical. The chances you are able to solve the crim are very slim, but it might enable to be more aware of the world around you. Also it may help you in later life, depending on what you what job you get. :-/
Okay say someone has been murdered. From the information you have, you need to try and figure out what might have happened. Also if yoiur quite local to the incident you might have moire info then they may give on the news. So the aim of the game is to think about things in more detail and more logical. The chances you are able to solve the crim are very slim, but it might enable to be more aware of the world around you. Also it may help you in later life, depending on what you what job you get. :-/
Well, she was always the clever one.
Caveat:
QUOTE (Grego)
Or maybe we should just delete him. He seems to directly challenge our authority just for the hell of it.
Time is now: 11/3/10, 06:11