At the minute we're on the original motherfucker Oedipus, and we were asked to modernize some text, mine was (see title) which I had to do alone seeing as Halfpenny fractured his arse, enjoy!

In Thebes, a lovely place, the sky was talking. I'm scared and I don't mind telling you, Doctor, listen! What will you do? Fetch me a calender! Talk to us, blonde bird, c'mon, and don't drop dead on the way.

Alive Athena! Zeus' first kid, we text you for help. Artemis, looking over our wonderful city with the lovely telephone system, and Phoebus, who does javelin at Linnet Clough on Saturdays. Show us how good you are like you did last June. Everything's on fire and I have rabies. Save us and call a plumber, the bath is broken.

I'm sad. Very sad. All the army is drowning in their own vomit, Glaxo Smith-Klein cannot keep up, all the farms are fucked and the women are giving birth to dead babies whilst throwing up. Now goin' up to heaven with the bird on fire, I'm clinically dead.


Ant said it had my fingerprints all over it