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Health and Safety
Submitted by BeagonBoy on Mon, 2007-04-23 17:06.
Health and Safety (General)
Health and Safety is a pretty simple thing. At its most basic form, it consists of looking for luminous-green fire exit signs, and making sure you don't squashed by the photocopier/JCBs/Marks and Spencer's shelves/fat children.
At my placement, the list of most dangerous activities is as followed:
1) Being squashed by a falling printer
2) Being molested by a photocopier
3) Being attacked by a laptop, and a wireless internet connection
4) Choking on biscuits
5) Letting the kettle explode.
Luckily, the amazing invention of 'Health and Safety', invented by Safety Clive himself, should protect me. If that fails, a little known human function known as 'Common Sense' should kick in, and save me from the photocopiers.
Regrettably, health and safety can be taken too far, resulting in losses of life through taking seemingly unnecessary precautions. For example, this instance between Safety Clive, and his trusty side kick Smelly-Man:
Smelly-Man: "Oh no! That volcano is about to kill all those homeless people!"
Safety Clive: "Hot substances should be handled with care, Smelly Man! Take these oven gloves!"
Smelly-Man: "Superman didn't have to wear oven gloves..."
As you can see, being overcautious by telling people to perform unnecessary tasks such as putting on extra pairs of oven-gloves, or desperately trying to force students to take a lesson seriously by trying to force a holiday-long project upon them can often lead to disastrous results, such as someone using the project to show what happens when stupid questions are asked.
As for my interview, here are some questions I thought it completely necessary to ask:
1) Am I at risk from falling computer-machinery, or computer-machinery with a criminal record?
2) Am I at risk from choking upon badly-made chocolate digestives?
3) Am I at risk for not being able to hear a loud bell ringing in my ears when the fire alarm goes off, or perhaps not being able to see LUMINOUS GREEN fire exit signs?
4) Am I at risk for becoming too pretentious for my own good by continuing to spend time doing this?
Health and Safety is a pretty simple thing. At its most basic form, it consists of looking for luminous-green fire exit signs, and making sure you don't squashed by the photocopier/JCBs/Marks and Spencer's shelves/fat children.
At my placement, the list of most dangerous activities is as followed:
1) Being squashed by a falling printer
2) Being molested by a photocopier
3) Being attacked by a laptop, and a wireless internet connection
4) Choking on biscuits
5) Letting the kettle explode.
Luckily, the amazing invention of 'Health and Safety', invented by Safety Clive himself, should protect me. If that fails, a little known human function known as 'Common Sense' should kick in, and save me from the photocopiers.
Regrettably, health and safety can be taken too far, resulting in losses of life through taking seemingly unnecessary precautions. For example, this instance between Safety Clive, and his trusty side kick Smelly-Man:
Smelly-Man: "Oh no! That volcano is about to kill all those homeless people!"
Safety Clive: "Hot substances should be handled with care, Smelly Man! Take these oven gloves!"
Smelly-Man: "Superman didn't have to wear oven gloves..."
As you can see, being overcautious by telling people to perform unnecessary tasks such as putting on extra pairs of oven-gloves, or desperately trying to force students to take a lesson seriously by trying to force a holiday-long project upon them can often lead to disastrous results, such as someone using the project to show what happens when stupid questions are asked.
As for my interview, here are some questions I thought it completely necessary to ask:
1) Am I at risk from falling computer-machinery, or computer-machinery with a criminal record?
2) Am I at risk from choking upon badly-made chocolate digestives?
3) Am I at risk for not being able to hear a loud bell ringing in my ears when the fire alarm goes off, or perhaps not being able to see LUMINOUS GREEN fire exit signs?
4) Am I at risk for becoming too pretentious for my own good by continuing to spend time doing this?
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Time is now: 7/1/09, 11:48